He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
