Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
last night I used snow as a chaser
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
