This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize