The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize