GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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