That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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