I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
