I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
