I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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