Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
