I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
