he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
