dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
