what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
