My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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