I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
soo... how was my night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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