I wanna bring you to show and tell
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
