Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I FOUND THE LEGS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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