this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
