well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm sobbing to NWA
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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