ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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