I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to fling myself into the sun
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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