just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize