True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
