So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
