I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
