You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He kissed a someone with a penis
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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