There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
