I should be sponsored by Trojan
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
