I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just want nice things and good sex
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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