fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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