just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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