So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
