it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
