dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
