In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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