Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
