yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
