I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
