bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
