I only kidnapped one of them. chill
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
