friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
foreskin is a definite game changer
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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