I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
