i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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