YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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