oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
