p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
