Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
