eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
