hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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