So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
