...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
