I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize