tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
