have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I donโt know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Just got my second shot
Baller. Weโre going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
