even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
