Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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