You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
