a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Holy sore nipples Batman
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
