Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
