16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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