Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
