So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
