btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
