youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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