She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
