WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
