I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
