i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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