Umm I'm too high to move.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
