Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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