marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
