i permit you to call me
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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