My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
