Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
