he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
