I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize