Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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