his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
