similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
