oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
A+ Viking dick
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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