And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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